It’s new year, and you want to live your best life, and be your best self! I’ve spent over 10 years learning in personal development, taking workshops, trainings, and learning from some of the most successful people in the world. These are 25 habits, and mindset shifts that can help you be your best self, and overcome challenges. It’s quite an in depth list, but remember to focus on the points that really resonate with you, and you feel you need to work on. Personal development is a very personal thing and we all have different things we would like to improve or work on. Remember we’re always learning and always a work in progress, and though we love to improve, its important to embrace who we really are along with that and give ourselves grace. So let’s begin.
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1. Stop obsessing over your struggles
When you’re on the struggle bus, or going through difficulties, its hard to think about anything else, and to focus on anything else. But what you focus on expands, and usually spirals. Focusing on your struggles often times leaves you feeling hopeless, and imprisoned by your problems instead of finding a solution.
Instead, START focusing on what you do have. Give gratitude, and make it a big deal even if its as small as having running water, or a roof over your head. START focusing on what you do want, and affirm those things. You’ve already spent a good amount of energy and time worrying about what you don’t want. From there you can come from the opposite and focus on what you do want. Redirect your energy into affirming what you want as if you already have it. Its much more productive than obsessing and stressing over your struggles. No one ever gets out of their struggles until they’re ready to let them go, and focus on what they can do to actually solve it. So, are you ready to let them go?
2. Stop doubting yourself and your abilities
I’m sorry but so many of us are sleeping on our own talents, and treasures. Are you one of those people, that looks down on yourself, and thinking that you are not good enough? And that you can’t make a difference? Well that’s not even the truth. Every single one of is born with some sort of talent and light that’s meant to be shared.
Instead, START believing in yourself, believing that you can learn, change and evolve. It’s easier said than done. But one way that I like to focus on believing in myself is taking some time to think about what my achievements are big and small. Acknowledging your past wins can gas yourself up again, and give yourself little reminders of your greatness. And if you’re really hard on yourself, ask people who you love and trust to tell you what are some things that they admire about you, or that you’re good at? Another tip, whenever I get kind comments, messages, notes, I actually save them in a folder that I can look at when I’m not feeling so good about myself. Instantly reminds me that I am making a difference.
3. Stop doom scrolling too much on social media.
I had originally combined this with number 4, but you’ll have to read on to find out what that is. We waste so much time doom scrolling and over consuming social media content, emails, tv, radio, and just a lot of outside noise. That we don’t even know who we are anymore, we’re just robots consuming far too much. It’s leaving us even more exhausted, and more distracted than ever. It is very stress relieving but when you start using your phone to avoid real life it becomes a problem.
START setting up social media limits. We do this for kids limiting their screen time, and us adults need them too. This can be challenging at first, so be kind to yourself. Set timers for your screen time, maybe just 15-30 minutes instead of mindlessly scrolling and losing hours. They have apps for that as well that locks you out of certain apps for a time period so you could try that. For me, I do a better job limiting my screen time, when I charge my phone and my ipad outside of my bedroom. If you cant do that, then put them all across the room from you. You can also start deleting apps off your phone. declutter your emails, photos, following list and etc. I just deleted twitter, logged out of it completely. I was spending wayyy too much time on there.
4. stop stalking people on social media
If you’re limiting your screen time like in number 3, then you’ll definitely do this a lot less. Hear me out, we have access to people too easily. It’s become so easy to stalk people, and spend unnecessary time watching other people living their lives. It’s actually kind of creepy as I’m writing this. I’ve stopped doing this years ago, I pretty much will only see people’s posts on the feeds, and if I don’t I’m not really stalking peoples pages to check on what their doing. I get it there is curiosity but sometimes its like is it necessary for you to be stalking your ex to see what they’re up to, or stalking a hater friend? lol that’s not healthy my friend.
START going within yourself and ask yourself, what am I even getting from stalking these people? I get it we want to be petty, lol trust me I went through that phase before to. You’re honestly not getting any return on that. And I’m so serious but find a new hobby or hobbies to obsess about. Start creating your life, instead of watching other peoples.
5. Stop putting off what you can do today for tomorrow
Tomorrow is not guaranteed. All we have is today and being in the present moment. Our lives don’t change tomorrow, our lives change today based on the actions we take.
START to do things NOW. Have urgency now, don’t take your day for granted, don’t take the people you love for granted. Thinking of someone? Send them a message, pick up the phone and call, yes that is so so crazy in a world that no longer calls. Start that project you always wanted to start, Start reading more, start doing what you keep saying you don’t have time for. Make time even if its only 10 minutes, and if you’re scrolling and stalking less well then you have more time.
6. STOP disrespecting your time and other people’s time
You think you got time, you think your entitled to other peoples times, or that you actually have all the time in the world. The truth is you don’t, you’re not going to live forever and neither are the ones you love. What does disrespecting your own time look like? It looks like putting off what you said you wanted to do, overcommitting to things bc you don’t want to disappoint someone. When it comes to other people: it’s showing up late to things, cancelling things last minute, being careless with people’s time, and not valuing it the same as your own.
START respecting your time and other peoples time. You say you’ll be somewhere be there on time or early. If you can’t do something or don’t want to do something just say that you can’t. You say you want to do a thing, plan a time to do it. Time is a limited resource you can never get back. Use it wisely and cherish because you don’t know when your time will run out.
7. STOP letting AGE stop you
Stop thinking and believing that you’re too young, or too old to do anything. We have to stop letting these harmful societal narratives run our lives. It makes us feel like we’re behind, or that we’re not doing enough, or that we can’t take control of our lives. Age is often used an excuse to not pursue what we want. Its an outright lie and excuse that so many of us believe that its “too late”.
START doing whatever you want at any age. Stop listening to people who limit you base on your age. I started my coaching business when I was 23, some said that was too young. Now I’m in my 30’s and I’m getting serious about Youtube and blogging. Life doesn’t stop after you turn 30. Social media makes it seem like you can only wear this at a certain age, or you can only be successful before your 20’s or it doesn’t “count”. Reality check, most people don’t even find themselves until well in there 40s or 50s, or even 70s. And often times people are constantly reinventing themselves. I’m honestly so proud of the content creators who are 40+ because that takes so much guts!
8. Stop judging and criticizing other people, while not taking a look in the mirror.
Too many people do this and lack any self awareness. It is 10x easier to judge someone based on the decisions they had to make, without realizing the things they had to give up to make that decision. We like to turn our attention outwards, because it makes us feel like we’re absolved from our own issues. It takes no courage or brains to judge and criticize other people for let’s say pursuing their dreams. Most find comfort in bashing others because they don’t have the guts, and they project a lot. But it ultimately is the unwillingness to take a look at yourself and what you need to change. Now if you have a tendency to judge others and criticize them harshly. Often times you have a habit of doing that to yourself, and being overly judgmental of your self.
Start being more compassionate towards yourself and other people. Be honest with yourself, you’re not perfect either, and none of us are. How can you be more kind and understanding towards them? If you’re overly critical of yourself, then give yourself more compassion and learn how to calm down that inner negative self critic. We all have one, but you don’t have to let it win. Listen to the thoughts, but don’t buy into them, and don’t let it emotionally take over you. Start being compassionate to other people and yourself as well.
9. Stop waking up without a plan
Every day is valuable and we don’t have many days on this earth. Often times we have the same schedules and the same boring routines. It leaves us feeling like what is the point of life. Instead of planning your mornings and preparing for them. You end up rushing out the door, spilling your coffee on your shirt, and ruining your mood for the whole day. We’ve all been there.
Start planning and preparing your morning the night before. Prep your meals, pack your bag for school or work, pick out your outfit and lay it out. Start having a simple routine that you can easily follow everyday to give you peace of mind before you start your work or school day. You do not need a 20 step morning routine unless you love that. Some ideas to bring peace: make your bed, pray, give gratitude, and appreciate the things you have. These all have been proven to give you so many health benefits. Now sometimes waking up without a plan is PART of the plan where we need scheduled rest days. Some days and seasons we won’t have a plan, and those days actually motivate us to start waking up with a plan, with a routine and goals in mind.
10. Stop downplaying your success, and wins.
We’re taught to be humble, because God wants us to be humble. But I don’t agree, God wants you to be successful and win, and to honor yourself as much as you would him. This doesn’t mean idolizing yourself. its realizing and recognizing that a lot of peoples definition of humble is don’t do better than me, or don’t think you’re bigger than your britches. But often times this shows up as being shy about your wins, and feeling guilty for being successful. Truly its such a funny thing in this world. If we’re too confident, we’re arrogant, but if we’re shy about it, we’re so humble and amazing. There needs to be a balance.
START celebrating, and acknowledging your wins and successes. You don’t have to brag about them to others. But you can and celebrate them with your loved ones and those who are close to you and have helped you on your way to success. Some people don’t like sharing publicly on social media and I get you. But remember that your success and wins are a testimony, its an inspirational story that can also inspire others who have been in your situation. Seeing you winning and overcoming encourages others to do the same. Being successful and winning in life is our birth right. We don’t get prizes from downplaying our success and being overly humble.
11. Stop Consuming Too Much (Content, Food, or Stuff)
Over consumption has taken over our lives. We try to use it to fill the emptiness in our lives with things, with food, and with people. You buy things you don’t need, or can’t afford at the time putting you in unnecessary debt. You constantly gorge yourself on food and drink. You get into meaningless relationships with people you don’t see a future with. It’s all a toxic never ending cycle. We use it to fill a void with external things that doesn’t last until the next shiny thing. Its exhausting and tiring trying to keep up with other people.
Start being mindful of what you’re consuming, from gossip to food, to the people you surround yourself with. Pause before buying something, do I really need to buy this? I like to stop and think about things before I buy them, and if i really cant stop thinking about I go get it. but most often I will forget about it. Especially when it comes to food, and drinks, when I’m grocery shopping, I ask myself when will I eat this. If i have no idea when I have the time to eat it then I won’t get it. It sound strict but its so helpful in a capitalistic world trying to convince you, you need to buy, do or have this thing to be happy.
12. Stop trying to remember everything with your mind
Yes, you’re smart but you’re not that smart where you can remember everything with sheer willpower. Okay maybe you can but for most of us we can’t. We have thousands of thoughts a day, and as you get older, you can’t possibly remember everything. We have so many to do lists, events, and ideas. But it gets difficult to remember them all, when you don’t have a place to put all of these things.
START writing things down anything that comes to mind that you don’t want to forget. Get a planner, or a notebook and write it down pen to paper. I have 2 planners, 1 journal and a random note book, lowkey I have more, but these are the ones I use regularly. I tried to go fully digltal with my ipad but that didn’t work for me. (and for some people they can only use digital and remember everything, but that’s just not me.) It helps our brain when you use a physical pen and paper to write things down, it also helps us remember things better. Many studies have been done that support this. I do still use digital things like the notes app or notions for content ideas and if i have an idea and I don’t have something to write it down with. But truly writing things down is so elite and is becoming a lost art that is negatively impacting the world.
13. Stop waiting for the perfect timing.
Stop waiting to be deserving to have what you want, or waiting for the perfect person or friends to start living and enjoying your life. We’re always using this as an excuse, as a way to make ourselves feel better and postpone things as if we have all the time in the world. That’s a cop out and you know it.
START taking action now, and believing you deserve it now, and that you already have it now. I’m a big believer of the law of assumption, and focusing on having it now is going to change your life. Start seeing that now is the perfect time to take action. You want to go somewhere, and you’re always waiting for your friends or the perfect time, just go already. Plan it and go by yourself. Create the perfect time by deciding now is the perfect time. Clearly don’t be rash about it, or throw your responsibilities away. But how often are you going to keep saying you’re waiting for the right time.
14. STOP saving the good stuff for later.
Stop saving your best clothes or luxury bags and jewelry for some day, or a special occasion. Your life is the special occasion. Stop saving that cute fit for a better day, lol what does that even mean? You’re never getting today back again you might as well use it. The fancy mugs, and cutlery take em out and use it on any old Tuesday. Stop reserving the good stuff for the big things. Your life is a big thing.
Start wearing and using the good stuff now. I’m so guilty of not doing this, and I’ve decided to start doing this, this year! Because why am I saving it up for a better occasion whats a better occasion than life and living? Who cares what other people say. I want to look good, and feel good and live my best life. No more saving it for later when I can use it now!
15. Stop saying no to everything.
Usually everyones tell you to stop saying yes to everything, which I agree with if that’s what you struggle with. But as I’m getting older, I have an issue of automatically saying no. No I don’t want to do that, No I can’t, No thank you. This is so common, and I think we feel as we get older we should say no to protect our energy. And yes to healthy boundaries honey. BUT when you always say no, you’re shutting out all the opportunities and all the good things that life wants to give you.
START being more open to saying yes, and trying or doing new things. Open yourself to new experiences, and new peoples. Be selective and intentional to what you say yes to. But also keep an open mind. When we learn new things, and experience new things it also helps us create new brain neural pathways and keeps our brain healthy. So what is something you can say yes to that you always say no to?
16. Stop over identifying with a negative identity.
We accumulate so many negative identities based off of what adults told us: you’re so stupid, or you talk too much. And then you start believing that, and saying I’m stupid I can’t learn or do that, or I talk too much so i should be more shy, quiet and reserved. These are very simple identities to get my point across. But you get it, we tend to create these negative ideas based off of the things we’ve been taught by others. It prevents us from changing because we over identify and think that is who we are. When that’s not the truth.
Start identifying with the person who you want to become. Inherently we are all light, look at kids and how fearless they are before someone tells them who they are or how they should act. In order to shift out of this, you have to start identifying with the opposite of your negative identity or of the person who you no longer want to be. If you’re always telling yourself I’m unhealthy I’m unhealthy you can never change. Instead start flipping the narrative and telling yourself I’m healthy – even if you don’t believe it yet, if you repeat it enough, you start making changes. So affirm the person you want to be, your power lies in what you identify with.
17. Stop sacrificing your health.
The cycle goes like this, we have to work, we got kids, we got responsibilities and so we put off taking care of our health. We take it for granted, we think oh I’ll be okay, we’ll do it later. But then the cost of poor health is going to take you out, and its not just the financial part I’m talking about. It robs your ability to do the things you love, and to be with the people you love. It also negatively impacts everyone around you. And many of today’s chronic diseases are preventable with lifestyle and diet changes.
START prioritizing your health. Don’t allow yourself to fall victim to the mentality that I can afford to sacrifice my health. How can you start, go get a health check up, see where your health is right now. Don’t just base it off of how you feel, that can often times be misleading. Get blood work done. I know this is challenging in the USA without any cause. But if possible find a way to do a regular blood checkup. Based off of the results, you can either be relieved that theres nothing wrong, or you find some things that you need to improve. Whatever it is start taking care of your health, set your meal times, eat regular meals, eat less processed foods, drink more water, go walking more. Prioritizing your health doesn’t mean you need it to take over your entire life. Simple things can change your health.
18 & 19. Stop giving up so easily, and stop letting your emotions get the best of you.
These two go hand in hand, because usually you get upset, or discouraged and you just say eff it, and you give up entirely. This goes for your weight loss journey, your dream business, or even your youtube channel. We tend to let our emotions overcome us because we don’t know better ways to handle them. So the best solution we come up with is to just give up and throw in the towel. But your emotions are a powerful tool and sometimes we confuse our fears for our emotions and let it stop us from pursuing our goals.
START learning how to listen to your emotions, without letting it overwhelm you to the point where you give up. Get quiet, don’t react so quickly to emotions, let them come, let them ebb and flow. Honor your emotions because they are always telling you something. What are they trying to tell you? Sometimes it does tell you to quit, but most often it’s asking you to pause. And you might find that its trying to tell you something else. There’s nothing wrong in taking breaks, and pausing. Sometimes you don’t have to always completely give up, sometimes you need to just pivot.
20. STOP letting your past affect you in the present.
So many people are living in past pain and keeping themselves there. You keep yourself there by constantly reliving the memories over and over again. No one else is keeping you there, even though it may have been a person who caused that pain or a disappointment of something not happening for you. Whatever it is. That past pain was here to teach you a lesson, so you can overcome it and share how you overcame your pain. A lot of people would rather dwell in this pain instead of thinking of it like this. But honestly how can you deal with life without looking at it this way, you can’t.
START accepting your past for what it is, and not allowing it to determine your present. Your past doesn’t determine your future, you do, and what you choose to do today. Often it also takes a great amount of self-forgiveness, and the ability to let yourself off the hook if you messed up or failed. We all make mistakes, but you can rectify them today by changing your behavior and your attitude. You can’t go and change the past but you can change today. Shift your focus to what you can do instead of what happened long ago.
21. STOP needing to always do something.
Simply put this is the best way to burn out. Always saying yes to everything, always on the go, with no room to actually think about why am I even doing all these things. Who am I doing these things for? What void are you trying to fill. being busy for the sake of being busy. Most often people who do this, often feel a deep need to prove themselves to other people, or are people pleasers. I’ve been there before, wearing busyness as a badge of honor. But it was exhausting and it really was distracting from what I actually wanted to do in life.
START taking breaks and learning how to rest. Your body needs rest, and your mind needs rest. Get comfortable with doing less things, and focusing on what you value and matters to you most. It can be uncomfortable because you have this need to constantly do things, you can’t seem to let yourself relax and do nothing. Doing nothing is essential to being able to do more things in life, and give it your all. You cannot be pouring from an empty cup. Its necessary and beneficial for our mental health too.
22. STOP listening to others people opinions over your own.
How many times have you asked for advice and was brought with discouragement and you took that as advice or a sign not to do something. And then you ended up regretting it? Hm.. I’m sure plenty of us have been there. Let’s say you go to your friend and tell them you want to start your dream business, and you ask your friend who has no desire to start a business and has 0 business experience. What do you think they’ll say? They’ll convince you its a bad idea and to not do it. And then you listen to them and quit pursuing it. You just gave your power away to your friend’s opinion who literally has no weight, and wasn’t the right person to ask for advice. And this happens in health, finances, and relationships. Why are you always listening to people’s opinions instead of looking for the facts and finding the answers your self?
START having discernment with who you’re asking advice from. Learn how to be quiet and listen to your own gut and intuition. If you have a dream for your life, other people won’t understand because it’s not their dream! So you have to learn to stop taking advice or listening to people’s opinions all the time. Now don’t be closed off to other peoples constructive feedback, especially if they have already reached the goals you want to achieve. You can actually benefit a lot from advice given by the correct people. You’re not going to listen to your out of shape friend what to do to get in shape. Yet people do this foolishly and wonder why they’re still unhealthy. But I digress. Be wise with who you get advice from, and if all us tune into yourself and a higher power. It’s much more reliable.
23. STOP letting your ego get in the way of learning new things.
Do you know how embarrassing it is to start something new, and be a total beginner? Yes ok, we can collectively agree it is embarrassing and frustrating. That my friends is a part of learning and making progress. Sometimes we think oh we already know so much, so we don’t need to learn new things. Let me tell you the learning never stops, and if you think you know everything you actually don’t know anything. This type of ego really fears looking stupid and cares too much about what people will think if they’re seen trying something new.
START allowing your curiosity to take the lead, you want to learn something, go for it. You want to take a class, or try something new. If you feel embarrassed or out of place at first, congrats thats normal. Give yourself some grace when you try new things. Accept that you won’t look cool right away, and people might make fun of you. But who cares, this is your life, and its very cool to follow your curiosity instead of living in fear of what people think.
24. Stop rushing all the time.
I hate rushing because what is the point, unless you’re always late then you gotta work on that which goes back to number 5. lol But I do also believe in the burnt toast theory. That sometimes delays are meant to protect you, and sometimes there are divine reasons for your delay. But if you’re rushing all the time, its mostly poor planning or preparation on your part, or trying to overextend yourself.
START slowing down, plan things ahead of time. Yes sometimes things don’t go to plan, but often times did you even give yourself time to get ready, or calculate how long it takes you to get somewhere. Most of these things, are things we are in control of. You can wake up a little earlier, go to bed earlier. Do what you need to do so you don’t need to rush. I calculate in my head how long do i need to get ready, and don’t be overly generous when you know you take longer to get ready lol. Be so for real with yourself. No rushing this year for anything, not even flights, but honestly why don’t you just show up earlier? for real?
25. Stop taking everything so damn seriously.
But also don’t become that guy that says its not deep, or chill out man. Because sometimes things are that deep. This is more for those who are always uptight and stressed, bc that was me and I’m working on this. You just want to feel in control so you try to control everything. And then you take everything so seriously when it doesn’t go to plan. Its okay to relax. Because the more you relax the easier things are.
START allowing things to unfold, allowing things to happen for you instead of always trying to force it or make it happen. Have faith and trust in yourself, and in a higher power. Allow yourself down time to have fun. and to not work. Be able to laugh at situations, and yourself. Find the humor and joy that comes with life. Life is a balancing act, and we’re all trying to figure it out. Cut yourself some slack when you genuinely feel you’re trying your best. Life is too short, and we have to take advantage of the time we have but you don’t gotta do it with a stick up your butt. LOL.
Wow congrats you read all 25 things to stop holding yourself back in 2025. Each one of these have a lot more nuances, that I feel I could’nt really go into depth with, unless you wanted a whole essay which it already is lol. Things in life are not always black and white. its easy to say stop this, and start this, but often we have to also heal a lot of things, deal with other people, and deal with undesirable circumstances. Most of these need to be approached in a middle of the way kind of thing.
Out of the 25 things, what are the top 3 that you feel you need to work on the most this year? Take your journal and write them down. Take notes if you need to. Or feel free to share with me in the comments below.
Personally, for me this year is about scrolling less, consuming less and creating more content. Relaxing and trying a lot more new things that I’ve been putting off. Thanks for being here, and I hope you have the best year ever! I’m rooting for you!
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