Do you know what your love language is?
You might be familiar with Gary Chapman’s five love languages that consists of: quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, and acts of service. Chapmans’ concept is one where individuals all have differing ways that they like to love and be loved in return. In order to succeed in relationships, its important to understand one another’s love language and finding ways to use them on a regular basis to maintain a healthy relationship. It’s a powerful tool that can help transform any relationship, whether its platonic, familial, or romantic.
There is a vast difference between being self-centered and being overly giving.
It’s important to balance the two. It can be difficult at different seasons of life, and is a constant ongoing work in progress. What’s wonderful is when we realize our own love language, we can find what personally makes us thrive within relationships, as well as what we like, and how to provide more of that for our own needs with or without a partner. As much as we love love, we must also learn to give that to ourselves, and learn how to also ask for what we need. I advocate greatly for self-love because when we can give ourselves the type of love we seek out we can attract it more readily in a receiving energy rather an energy of desperation, needing external validation, or outsourcing our love.
Everyone’s love language is different.
And finding yours is just simply asking yourself – what are the things that I find the most meaningful? You can also take the online quiz to figure out what your love language is.
Here is a list of ideas to use your love language for self-care, and self-love:
Quality Time
Give yourself some uninterrupted focused alone time.
- Go on a solo date
- Go to a cafe or restaurant
- Visit an art exhibit, go to a museum
- Go on a walk or hike alone
- Watch a tv series by yourself
- Turn your phone off for a few hours or for 1 full day per week
- Light a candle, Journal, and meditate
- Savor your tea or coffee time
Words of Affirmation
Affirm, acknowledge and encourage yourself.
- Practice positive self-talk
- Write a letter to yourself, and celebrate how proud of yourself of for your accomplishments (pretend like you’re writing one to a friend).
- Speak into your mirror and use affirmations.
- Recognize your strengths and successes
- Make a list of things you’re grateful for
- Journal and reflect on your past and current accomplishments
- Journal: What are 50 things you love about yourself?
Physical Touch
Doing the things that make you feel good through your body.
- Moisturize and lotion your entire body
- Go get a massage
- Create an at-home spa experience.
- Try a new workout class
- Use a face mask
- Create a skin care routine
- Take a bath
- Do you own poly gel or gel nails at home.
Acts of Service
Doing tasks that help you improve your daily life and overall wellbeing. Or catching up on tasks you’re behind on.
- Declutter and clean your space or digital devices
- Donate or sell your unwanted clothes or more. I personally love Poshmark. (It’s free to join, w/ my code: KTANG88 to get $10)
- Try a new recipe and cook for yourself
- Make your bed
- Prep and plan your meals for the week
- Volunteer and give back to a favorite cause
- Invest in therapy or coaching
- Schedule, organize and plan your schedule, trips or events
Receiving gifts
Creating or buying meaningful gifts that bring you joy.
- Go shopping within your means
- Design a new aesthetic for your life
- Buy yourself flowers
- DIY and make yourself a gift
- Get a monthly gift box subscription. ( I love these: 1. Curateur (Use code: Welcome10) 2. Singles Swag Box. 3. Lemon Drop Gifts)
- Create a shopping wish list
- Create a fantasy shopping wish list (if there were no limits what would you want?)
- Go on trips and vacations
What is your love language? And what do you love to do for your self-care and self-love practices?
